Tuesday, October 9, 2012

I'm Going to Die of a Heart Attack by Age 30.

Our girls take a lot of aspects from both Ashley and I. They're smart and pretty, they get that from Ashley. They also have a weird obsession with shiny objects and fire, which they get from me. They also sadly are terrible little troublemakers, which they also get from me. Somewhere along the line they realized that little blonde twin girls don't tend to get in trouble with strangers. That's not the problem though, see Ashley has an ability to sneak up on me and startle me by coming out of nowhere. The twins have adapted that strategy.

Another problem is I have a jump scare problem. When someone startles me it scares the hell out of me for some reason. Now the biggest problem is horror movies, I've seen enough, studied enough to pretty much predict a jump scare minutes in advance. THEY STILL GET ME THOUGH! It's frustrating and slowly killing me since I have a wife who likes jump scare movies.

So this goes to the problem that my daughters and wife like startling me every day. Sometimes it's on purpose, but I can live with that. Cause I'll get them back more than they can ever imagine. It's the ones where they don't intend to scare me but do. Where they just come out of nowhere to ask a question or if they need something.

An example would be a week or so ago. Ashley and I were watching our backlog of sitcoms where a raunchy conversation was going on. The twins aren't the greatest sleepers, so occasionally one will come downstairs and we'll have to get them sleeping again. Ami came down that night unknown to me, but apparently Ashley saw her coming a mile away. Then all of a sudden a voice from right behind me screamed out, "WHAT'S A THREESOME!?" I nearly died...

Ashley and Ami found it tremendously hilarious. It was not...

One of these days they will do that and I won't respond, cause they will have finally killed me. That will teach 'em.

For now I can only hope Sydney won't be as evil... though the signs are starting to come about.


Ashley said...

Your little girls are almost a little TOO smart. Geez man. Pretty sure they would outsmart me by this point.

I also had an affinity for fire as a kid. There is a picture of me as a one year old trying to go after the flame on my birthday cake. My hands had to be held back. As soon as the flame was blown out, I had no interest in digging into the cake. Ha!

Frank said...

I also jump probably more than I should when I'm startled. I also flinch a lot. I assume this is why most of my elementary school teachers were convinced my parents beat me at home.