Friday, May 11, 2012

Older Sister Resulting in Explosion.

The children of my parents home are split by ages. The older two were the favored children, I don't have a lot to say about my brother, mainly cause I really don't give a shit anymore. My older sister, we'll get to in a bit. Being one half of the younger pair, we were always considered second best, at best. Often ignored and generally when you ignore children, they act out. Which my younger sister and I both were in the habit of doing fairly often.

My older sister and I, have a weird relationship. On her side, she thinks we should be best friends and really has never expressed any ill will toward me. On the other hand, she has been quite hostile to our younger sister, for reasons I can never really understand. Something happened between the two of them, or perhaps just on one side that caused this rift. Either way, I've never really held any interest in a relationship of any kind with her.

Lately she has been wanting to establish a closer relationship with me and my family, but I have no interest in this situation. She has been hostile to Ashley, can't remember my children's names and generally acts like my mom, if my mom didn't have manners. Yet for some sick and twisted reason, she believes we are friends.

My side of the whole relationship, is she became the bane of my existence as a teenager and fledgling adult. When you have no one at home to talk to, no one interested in your life, sometimes you turn to the most mundane of hobbies. I collected DVDs and games, things that distracted me from my fairly shitty lifestyle at that point. One day, I arrived home to find all my stuff gone, thousands of dollars worth of stuff, that honestly, was keeping me alive at that point. My parents never filed a police report and seemed more concerned about the broken window.

Turns out my older sister and her drug dealer boyfriend stole them all to pay for drugs and whatnot. What made it even more terrible, a few weeks after the incident, after work I went to a local second hand dvd/game/music store. Get some movies for like 2 bucks and what not. Only to find several pieces of my former collection sitting on their shelves. I knew they were mine, cause I have the habit of putting pieces of paper in the dust covers saying if I had seen/played them before. There they were, still in the covers and sitting on the shelves.

I told the manager of the store and he was very sympathetic, but his hands were tied by the store policy that I needed to provide more proof than blank papers in covers. I was angry, the thing that was holding me together was sitting right in front of me, but I had no way of paying for. It was years worth of material collected and traded for.

It gets even worse. My sister, upon discovering that being a drug addict was not a good way to live, decided she needed help. She of course turned to our parents for help. Now my parents are fairly rich, but at the time, both my dad's company and my mom's studios weren't turning over too much of a profit. They wanted to send her to the best rehab clinic in the area, too bad it costs an arm and a leg.

To be more precise, my arm and leg. See my parents, while not very caring of their children in any personal way, like I said had a lot of disposable income. All 4 kids were given a savings bank account that our parents put money in for college, room and board, food and all the necessities to get us out of the house. While it wasn't enough to go to a rich private school, like the one I work at now, but smaller private schools or major universities.

So where were my parents and sister (yes, I know for sure she knew where the money was coming from), going to get that money from? All that money?

They took my college fund to pay for my sister's rehab. She had stolen my collection, she had stolen my education, she had stolen my life. That's what it felt like for awhile.

I was already in a dark place, college prospects based on athletics had dried up after I had gotten injured. I really didn't know what I could do with my life at that point. I couldn't pay for school, I could barely pay for the damn car. I couldn't join the armed services cause I had heart problems. I guess I could take out loans for school, so that's what I ended up doing, 95,000 dollars worth of loans that at 17, you imagine you would never pay back, ever. Thank god for some scholarships I was given.

I was angry, angry at my parents, angry at my sister and angry at myself for putting up with it. It finally exploded on a night in October. For 4 years I didn't say a word to my older siblings or my parents. My younger sister was my only direct family member I ever talked to and she still lived in that terrible house.

Years later, that big loan payed off, a loving family, and a decent for what it is relationship with my parents. I still really can never forgive my older sister for some of the stuff she pulled and some of the stuff she still does.

She's never apologized for anything she ever did to me. At this point, I don't care about the stuff, I don't care about the money, all I want is an apology. Something that she will never give me, nor will I expect.

A few months ago she asked me if the family could come back to Minnesota for her wedding. She was marrying a good guy by all accounts, she has a good career and has made good with her life. She even asked if the twins wanted to be flower girls and all the goody goody stuff. For some reason she still thinks we're friends and we get along. In a way we do, we do talk on the phone occasionally, but I never initiate the calls and I tend to keep them short and stupid.

Ashley, asked me what I wanted to do. I told her, there was no way I was going to her wedding. She agreed, which is strange, cause she always wants me to get along with my family. I ended up telling my sister that I was too busy with work, but would send flowers and a gift. Which I did, it's only polite.

I kept getting calls from her, my mom and dad asking if I was coming. I had no intention to and only a small pang of guilt hit me on the day of the wedding, not enough to think about it for more than an hour. The next day I got a stream of calls asking about why I didn't come to the wedding. The only one I remember was from a cousin of mine I have a good relationship with. He told me that my sister asked him to call me, to get the real story.

"So why didn't you come?"
"Certain family members were in attendance I'd rather not spend more than 2 minutes in the company with."

The official story in the family is, I was too busy with work that day to attend.

I was re-watching Jurassic Park that night.

1 comment:

Anthony S. said...

I have a similar relationship with my older sister. I keep our conversations short and stupid because she lives in a world of denial.