Sunday, May 27, 2012

Great Things I've Heard Lately.

Just a small collection of great quotes I've heard lately.

When directing the million plus extras for the Ghandi funeral scene, the Director gave an eloquent speech about national sadness. The Assistant Director who actually made the announcement to the crowd of people.

"Alright! Ghandi is dead and you're all fucking sad! GET ON IT!"

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"It's a kind of scared like when you see a moth in the house. First you're all scared and surprised, then you're only thought is "I'm going to kill that damn thing.""

"It's the Superbowl of Hand Egg!"

 "When I'm free, I'm going to come back here and crucify all of you."
- A young Julius Caesar talking to the pirates that kidnapped him. He did come back and crucify them too.

"Where do the most people named Alan live?"
"Aland."

"The greatest place to meet a girl is at the race track. Be sure to cheer for the same team as she does, great favor will be earned. Perhaps a bit of dust will settle on her breasts which you may brush off with your hand."
- Ovid a Roman romantic poet and who gave advice about women. A lot of that advice would no longer work in Western society, most likely it would lead to being hit.

Then there were the Spartans, a people who lived in a time of philosophy and war. They had their own kind of philosophy called Laconicism, in other words, say as little as possible to have the most effect. Some made it into the movie 300 where they have gained a lot of mainstream familiarity, but not always the best ones.

"Cause we are the only ones who give birth to men."
- Gorgo Queen of Sparta when asked why Spartan women are the only ones that control their men.

"The ships sank. Mindaros died. The men grow hungry. What should we do?"
- A letter intercepted by Athens after a lost naval battle by Sparta.

"My Father's common sense."
- A poor Spartan girl asked what her dowry is.

My personal favorite, Phillip of Macedon, the Father of Alexander the Great and a great conqueror himself sent a message to Sparta.

"You are advised to submit without further delay, for if I bring my army into your land, I will destroy your farms, slay your people, and raze your city."

The Spartans sent back a message soon after.

"If."

Phillip and Alexander never went near Sparta after that.

Sometimes, history provides better lines than any movie.

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