The "Stone Cold" Theory and a Man Rule.

The "Stone Cold" Theory is something relatively new to the world, but it's very simple to understand and utilize for your own pleasure. I was introduced to this from an online video shared to me by a friend.

Now this assumes that you at least know who Stone Cold Steve Austin is. Back in the 90's arguably the most popular wrestler was Steve Austin, whose whole gimmick was drunk, angry redneck. So Austin would come out to his music which starts with glass shattering, swear a bunch, stun (wrestling move) somebody and proceed to drink beer. This was usually followed by J.R. the announcer proclaiming, "It's Stone Cold! STONE COLD!"

Now the most important part of this theory is Stone Cold's music, which I have kindly provided for your use:


Now that you have the entrance music we can begin.

Now pick any heavily dramatic moment in a movie or TV series. For this demonstration we will be choosing the climax of "The Two Towers."

Certain death awaits the heroes, so they boldly charge out of helms deep to their heroic deaths. Then the morning sun rises above the mountain and at the top of the mountain in the light of the new sun...

*Hit the music*

IT'S STONE COLD! He then proceeds to stun all the Uruk Hai and drink beers on their corpses. Now didn't that make it all the much more awesome?

Thus lies the "Stone Cold" theory. Any moment in film or television can be improved by Stone Cold.

The orgasm scene in "When Harry Met Sally" hit the music and then picture Stone Cold drinking beers and beating people up. Isn't that awesome?

It's amazing, this must be taught to film students.

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Now for some of the ladies out there, just like you, men have some unwritten rules.

One of them involves public bathrooms. Now see, when men use a public restroom 90% of the time it's going to be for the urinal. The stalls are a last resort for both number one and number 2. There is one urinal etiquette that we all try to follow, unless absolutely necessary to break it.

Do not use a urinal right next to someone if you can help it. Why? cause it's creepy and trust me, there are guys who look at the other guy while doing their business. Even worse, you may strike up a conversation which is even weirder.

Why this unspoken rule can be really annoying. Picture five urinals in a row without privacy walls numbered left to right. Now Man A comes in first and settles on urinal number 1. Man B comes in and seeing Man A on urinal number one, instinctively moves to a urinal at least 2 away from Man A. So Man B chooses urinal number 4. Man C enters and realizes that he's fucked until one finishes or he is forced to use the stall.