Girls.

It all starts out so innocently enough.
That new girl. She's cute, smart and maybe sane? Maybe you get set up with her, she's shy, but also awesome you're not sure where this is going and it's two months later. Then you realize you haven't been laid in over a year. Around that time you best friend(?) starts wondering the same thing. Poking and prodding about it every damn day, making it even worse.
So finally you decide to ask about the no sex thing. Her response, in that oh so sexy, coy voice, "I'm waiting till there is a ring on this finger." Being the reasonable person who is honestly head over heels for this girl. You respected her wishes, things go on. You give her that ring and soon enough bowchikawowow.

Years pass, you get a cushy job, you get married, have twins and are as happy as can be. Then one day the topic about your two months of pain comes up. In that same girly, coy way of hers, she says, "Oh I was just teasing, you probably could have worn me down with enough flirting."

... What?...

Internet, I'm going to end this post with a bit of internet math.

Yes, I'm pouting now. I'M ALLOWED TO POUT DAMNIT!